Over-Coming Weaknesses- Building Relationships

      

Before starting my internship experience I identified a few areas of weakness that I felt would hold me back as a school leader. One of the areas that I was most concerned about was being proactive, specifically when it came to getting my self out to meet teachers, parents and other stakeholders. I feared that I stay in my office or workspace unless I was specifically told I had to work with the public.  While this is still my weakest area, I have made significant improvement during my internship experience.

     They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step. This is very true. In one of my first reflective experiences as an intern we were asked to identify some of the weaknesses we had in order to work on them. By acknowledging that putting myself out there was something I did not do well naturally, I was able to make it focus, especially in my first month on interning full time.

 My first intern experience was at a year round school working full time to close the school year. There were many opportunities to interact with parents, students and teachers. Because I had decided to make being proactive and social a focus, I tried to use the events as an opportunity to practice working with the public. I was not perfect at this, I often found myself hanging out near walls and waiting for parents and community members to come to me. However, as the experience continued and I was able to attend more and more school events I found myself being more comfortable.

As an intern, I felt it was difficult to build the relationships with parents because often they did not understand who I was, or I wasn’t there often enough to make a lasting impression. However, I think I used this an excuse. Every time I did approach a parent I was met kindly and most parents were interested in knowing who I was, and what I was doing to help their child. This was true at both the elementary and secondary levels.

I still find myself fighting with myself over getting out of the office and being present among the school community, especially with parents. However, I know it is a problem, and I know the right thing to do. Therefore, more often than not I can get myself out there and start building relationships.

Work-Life Balance

Throughout the past two years in the educational leadership program, it is probably fair to say that we have all struggled balancing work, school, and family.  One cannot go through such a program without having the values of hard-work, determination, and selflessness.  There have been several times that I personally have missed family events and pulled an all-nighter in order to complete assignments and I don't feel like I am an an exception.  Now that we are coming to an end of the program that does not mean that we will have less to do, but will have different demands and deadlines. 

When beginning our careers as school administrators, this can be our chance to build some good habits for our health.  By setting some guidelines when it comes to when we work, our home life will benefit.  One administrator I heard from suggested that you not check e-mail on the weekend or after leaving work and put away cell phones when engaging with family.  He also mentioned that if we do not take care of ourselves, we have nothing to give our students, faculty, and community.  This type of thing does not come naturally for most of us educators, but for our sanity and effectiveness it might be the first thing we need to focus on.

Nichole Goodliffe

The Pros of Good PR

Ah, the end of the quarter. The birds are singing, the bunnies are frolicking, and grades/attendance reports are coming out. This can only mean one thing:

Grading time is always a tense time for teacher-student and teacher-parent relationships. Teachers feel stressed and overwhelmed; many of them feel that students want grades they haven't earned. Parents are also feeling stressed; many of them feel left out of the information loop or are hearing alarming things from their students. When these tensions collide, angry emails or phone calls are exchanged and administration usually gets involved. These issues CAN be resolved, but you have to remember:

 When a school does not have good PR when working with parents and students, relationships sour quickly. Resentment builds between school employees and parents, when both sides tend to have the best of intentions. When an issue comes to me, it's usually because either the parent or the teacher has escalated the disagreement beyond the scope of the initial issue. Here are the top five things I've learned about cleaning up after PR disasters:

1. Give people the benefit of the doubt. It's always possible that someone is lying or twisting the truth, but you can't ever start from a position of disbelief. Listen to all sides of the story with an intention to understand.

2. Understand that a person's perception is their reality. If you feel that someone is twisting the story, this becomes especially important. People, whether they be teachers or parents, don't care about intention if it feels harmful to them personally. Don't address intention; focus on addressing the situation as the complainant perceives it.

3. Remember there is a thinking, feeling human being on the other end of the phone or email. When you're feeling attacked, it is easy to see the attacker as an aggressive, cold-hearted person who cares nothing for anything but their own selfish desires. It takes a serious mental shift to realize that the person on the other side is feeling the same way about you and your reaction can either confirm or refute that assumption. Treat the other person as a thinking, feeling human being - even if they aren't doing the same for you.

4. Remember that most strong emotions stem from fear. Keeping this in mind can help with #4. Why is a parent angry? It's probably because they're afraid. Afraid their student is being targeted. Afraid their parenting is being called into question. Afraid their student won't graduate or won't get into college or won't get a scholarship. The list goes on and on. Identify the fear and then attempt to address it.

5. Apologize and seek a solution. With #1-4 in mind, move forward. It costs nothing to apologize and it goes a long way towards showing you're willing to listen. Then seek a solution. Calmly, honestly, and promptly. It might not be the solution the parent is demanding but with the right PR and a good attitude, you'll solve a lot more than just the initial issue.

 There will always be crazy people and situations you can't believe are happening. But in everyday interactions? Develop good public relations strategies and your job will be a lot easier.

- Sara

Rejection

It's finally spring!  Since the fall we have applied and have interviewed multiple times for many administrative and educational leadership positions and many of us are beginning to think:

However, some of us in the cohort have landed amazing administrative and instructional coaching positions (YAY!) and others, like me, are:

It is not fun to be rejected for positions that you really want and are qualified for.  We are trying to enter into a field that is highly sought after and there is:

So as you ponder joining the field of many people who are trying to become administrators:

 

And it feels awful, you get depressed, but try to stay positive

and think to yourself:

Congratulations to those who have nailed down positions, I am truly happy for you! And to those who are in the same boat as me, think of this quote, because it has rung true to me many times.

Handling Difficult Parents

As a school leader you will be faced with dealing with difficult students as well as difficult parents. Having a teaching background makes handling difficult students easier. However, difficult parents are a whole different ballgame.

So what do you do? How do you handle a parent who is constantly trying to take your authority away?

I have had the opportunity to watch a principal do this respectfully, effortlessly and using authority.

The first thing she does is explain the situation. She is explicit with what she finds and the consequences given. After, she listens to the parents concerns or complaints. This is where parents tend to try to take her authority away. They start blaming the other student. What she does that is great is she explains HOW THEIR CHILD is responsible. At times she might agree that the other student is antagonizing. However she always goes back to, YOUR child did x,y,z. This tends to stop parents in their path. It is difficult arguing with what your child actually did.

As a school leader you need you lead with an example. It will be difficult not to lose your cool when a parent is verbally attacking you. The best advice I have is breathe! If you feel the conversation is not going anywhere, you need to stop it. The principal I’ve worked with has had to respectfully say, “This conversation is no longer being productive. We can pick back up at a different time. Thank you for coming in.” The principal has also had to record conversations with specific parents to be able to show her administrator of schools what is actually happening during the conversation.

The last key piece that the principal does is document EVERY conversation. This is important to be able to be prepared for upcoming conversations.

Being a leader is hard, but YOU CAN DO IT! It will be hard but well worth it. There will be times that you can create good, lasting relationships with parents. However, there will be times that the positive relationship will just not happen and that is okay too. Best of luck staying strong, respectful, and calm.

May the odds be ever in your favor!

-Megan

As we near the end of our class-taking, Praxis-preparing, interviewing year, I sometimes feel that I’m losing my grip on reality. There are days when I’m sorely tempted to pull the covers up over my head and say “leave me be, I changed my mind, I just want stay under here in my safe place”. I wonder what I was thinking, and think about all the money I’ve spent when I’m sure I’ll never find a job in this field. As someone who has habitually strayed out of her comfort zone only as far as it felt warm to the touch, this bold move of jumping into the fire of change has been, to say the least, quite daunting.

Other days I wake up and think “Man, I have got this handled!” A well-spoken interview answer, or a teacher coming to me for approval for something, or being left in charge. Of course I can do this, if only someone will give me the chance. Will they or won’t they? That is the question. What if they don’t hire me anywhere? Does that mean that I failed? I tend to be a person who relates to quotes, and some that spring to mind are:

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. –Wayne Gretzky

Do or do not. There is no try. -Yoda

I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances and how it's really just about overcoming your fears, because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it. -livelove-quotes

My original plan was to apply to my district, and if I didn’t get anything, then I would stay where I am for a few more years and then retire; better educated, but still in the same stagnant place. As this year began, I changed mind and applied to several districts. So far I have come up dry, but if it doesn’t happen this year, I’m sure I will have the drive to continue trying until something works out. If I tell my students and coworkers that I admire persistence and risk-taking, but am not willing to apply those characteristics to myself, then I probably don’t deserve a position anyway. 

Relationships

Entering into education administration I knew that relationships would be important; relationships with faculty, staff, the community, and most importantly the students.  However, I didn’t realize the severity surrounding the topic.  Over the course of my internship I have learned just how important relationships with various stakeholders can be.  Particularly when working with students.  During my internship I have been in both a primary and secondary setting, both of which I have found relationship building to be important. 

The past four weeks I have been in a secondary setting, and have found out just how essential relationship building among students is.  As a new face on campus many of the students automatically distrusted me.  Some of the students would ask who I was, while others didn’t care.  I found it difficult, never being in a secondary setting, to find ways to build relationships with students.  I would sit down and talk to them at lunch or try to talk to them in the hallways, but these strategies didn’t seem to help.  I began to question how I could form relationships with the various stakeholders, particularly students, when I was only there two days a week.  Additionally, how I, as a future principal, could do this immediately?

As I questioned how to build relationships quickly and ways to go about doing it the importance surrounding this topic was demonstrated.  One particular instance occurred while monitoring the hallways.  During this time it is typical to see students goofing off, or running late to class.  As an administrator you inform students of the correct behavior and recommend that they not be late to class.  While monitoring the hallways last week a group of boys were running through the hallways.  When asked to stop they looked at me and continued their behavior.  After I caught up to them, I introduced myself, and tried to discuss correct behavior in the hallways.  During this time not one of the students would talk or look at me.  They were silent.  As I introduced myself and put out my hand they did not offer theirs back.  At this point I could tell the discussion was going nowhere and they were going to be late for class.  I had them demonstrate the correct behavior and then ushered them off to class. 

During this situation I realized the answers to my questions; caring about students was essential in the relationship building process.  Students need to know and understand that you care about them, resulting in trust.  This takes time.  It is not something that can be rushed and some students feel it quicker than others, while some never feel it at all.  As a future administrator I realize that it is crucial that I build and foster relationships and trust with students.  Relationship building is something that I have always felt was one of my strong points.  I have always been able to build relationships with students and families very quickly.  The past four weeks have helped me to realize that, although this is one of my strong points, there are additional tools that I need in my tool belt.

Angela