Relationships

Entering into education administration I knew that relationships would be important; relationships with faculty, staff, the community, and most importantly the students.  However, I didn’t realize the severity surrounding the topic.  Over the course of my internship I have learned just how important relationships with various stakeholders can be.  Particularly when working with students.  During my internship I have been in both a primary and secondary setting, both of which I have found relationship building to be important. 

The past four weeks I have been in a secondary setting, and have found out just how essential relationship building among students is.  As a new face on campus many of the students automatically distrusted me.  Some of the students would ask who I was, while others didn’t care.  I found it difficult, never being in a secondary setting, to find ways to build relationships with students.  I would sit down and talk to them at lunch or try to talk to them in the hallways, but these strategies didn’t seem to help.  I began to question how I could form relationships with the various stakeholders, particularly students, when I was only there two days a week.  Additionally, how I, as a future principal, could do this immediately?

As I questioned how to build relationships quickly and ways to go about doing it the importance surrounding this topic was demonstrated.  One particular instance occurred while monitoring the hallways.  During this time it is typical to see students goofing off, or running late to class.  As an administrator you inform students of the correct behavior and recommend that they not be late to class.  While monitoring the hallways last week a group of boys were running through the hallways.  When asked to stop they looked at me and continued their behavior.  After I caught up to them, I introduced myself, and tried to discuss correct behavior in the hallways.  During this time not one of the students would talk or look at me.  They were silent.  As I introduced myself and put out my hand they did not offer theirs back.  At this point I could tell the discussion was going nowhere and they were going to be late for class.  I had them demonstrate the correct behavior and then ushered them off to class. 

During this situation I realized the answers to my questions; caring about students was essential in the relationship building process.  Students need to know and understand that you care about them, resulting in trust.  This takes time.  It is not something that can be rushed and some students feel it quicker than others, while some never feel it at all.  As a future administrator I realize that it is crucial that I build and foster relationships and trust with students.  Relationship building is something that I have always felt was one of my strong points.  I have always been able to build relationships with students and families very quickly.  The past four weeks have helped me to realize that, although this is one of my strong points, there are additional tools that I need in my tool belt.

Angela