Grading time is always a tense time for teacher-student and teacher-parent relationships. Teachers feel stressed and overwhelmed; many of them feel that students want grades they haven't earned. Parents are also feeling stressed; many of them feel left out of the information loop or are hearing alarming things from their students. When these tensions collide, angry emails or phone calls are exchanged and administration usually gets involved. These issues CAN be resolved, but you have to remember:
When a school does not have good PR when working with parents and students, relationships sour quickly. Resentment builds between school employees and parents, when both sides tend to have the best of intentions. When an issue comes to me, it's usually because either the parent or the teacher has escalated the disagreement beyond the scope of the initial issue. Here are the top five things I've learned about cleaning up after PR disasters:
1. Give people the benefit of the doubt. It's always possible that someone is lying or twisting the truth, but you can't ever start from a position of disbelief. Listen to all sides of the story with an intention to understand.
2. Understand that a person's perception is their reality. If you feel that someone is twisting the story, this becomes especially important. People, whether they be teachers or parents, don't care about intention if it feels harmful to them personally. Don't address intention; focus on addressing the situation as the complainant perceives it.
3. Remember there is a thinking, feeling human being on the other end of the phone or email. When you're feeling attacked, it is easy to see the attacker as an aggressive, cold-hearted person who cares nothing for anything but their own selfish desires. It takes a serious mental shift to realize that the person on the other side is feeling the same way about you and your reaction can either confirm or refute that assumption. Treat the other person as a thinking, feeling human being - even if they aren't doing the same for you.
4. Remember that most strong emotions stem from fear. Keeping this in mind can help with #4. Why is a parent angry? It's probably because they're afraid. Afraid their student is being targeted. Afraid their parenting is being called into question. Afraid their student won't graduate or won't get into college or won't get a scholarship. The list goes on and on. Identify the fear and then attempt to address it.
5. Apologize and seek a solution. With #1-4 in mind, move forward. It costs nothing to apologize and it goes a long way towards showing you're willing to listen. Then seek a solution. Calmly, honestly, and promptly. It might not be the solution the parent is demanding but with the right PR and a good attitude, you'll solve a lot more than just the initial issue.
There will always be crazy people and situations you can't believe are happening. But in everyday interactions? Develop good public relations strategies and your job will be a lot easier.
- Sara
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