Handling Difficult Parents

As a school leader you will be faced with dealing with difficult students as well as difficult parents. Having a teaching background makes handling difficult students easier. However, difficult parents are a whole different ballgame.

So what do you do? How do you handle a parent who is constantly trying to take your authority away?

I have had the opportunity to watch a principal do this respectfully, effortlessly and using authority.

The first thing she does is explain the situation. She is explicit with what she finds and the consequences given. After, she listens to the parents concerns or complaints. This is where parents tend to try to take her authority away. They start blaming the other student. What she does that is great is she explains HOW THEIR CHILD is responsible. At times she might agree that the other student is antagonizing. However she always goes back to, YOUR child did x,y,z. This tends to stop parents in their path. It is difficult arguing with what your child actually did.

As a school leader you need you lead with an example. It will be difficult not to lose your cool when a parent is verbally attacking you. The best advice I have is breathe! If you feel the conversation is not going anywhere, you need to stop it. The principal I’ve worked with has had to respectfully say, “This conversation is no longer being productive. We can pick back up at a different time. Thank you for coming in.” The principal has also had to record conversations with specific parents to be able to show her administrator of schools what is actually happening during the conversation.

The last key piece that the principal does is document EVERY conversation. This is important to be able to be prepared for upcoming conversations.

Being a leader is hard, but YOU CAN DO IT! It will be hard but well worth it. There will be times that you can create good, lasting relationships with parents. However, there will be times that the positive relationship will just not happen and that is okay too. Best of luck staying strong, respectful, and calm.

May the odds be ever in your favor!

-Megan