Transformation

I have now spent more than two years learning about leadership in schools. With each experience I have in school leadership, a new dimension is added to the conglomerate idea I am forming of “Leader”. In the two years I spent earning my Master’s degree in Teacher Leadership, I really never saw myself defined as anything other than a teacher. Even as I began doing internship hours at the beginning of the summer, I still perceived myself as someone play-acting in the role of administrator.

            Two particular incidents recently have made me realize that this is starting to change. When a student ran away at the elementary while I was in charge, I automatically grabbed a walkie-talkie and some support and headed out to find her. And a few days ago when I was in charge of lunch intramurals, a young girl passed out and then had a seizure. I got her situated and sent students for help while her sister called home. She was only out for a few moments, but it was very frightening for her, not to mention very public. Her mother came to see me the next day to say that the girl had appreciated the fact that I was so calm and kind. The growth part for me in these two scenarios was the fact that I didn’t take time in my head to think, “What would an administrator do in this situation?” I just acted in the best way I knew how.

            Another situation that highlights my changing role was the faculty breakfast we served the other day. It was one of the first times that I felt I was truly part of a different pack. I admit I was a little nervous about how my colleagues would perceive me, knowing that I was not in a teacher role at all, but serving them as a leader. It did feel a little strange, but it didn’t feel wrong or awkward, so I felt that I was undoubtedly where I should have been, in the role of a leader.

            While I still feel like I’m not quite there yet in seeing myself as a school leader, I believe that the next step of interviewing for jobs and having to articulate my views and present myself as an administrator will help to push me the rest of the way in transitioning from teacher leader to school leader. As an unpaid intern there are many resources that I still don’t have access to, which is a frustration. When someone wants my help, I often have to tell him or her that I will have to get back to them since I can’t pull up information that they need at that moment. They often look confused, thinking that as an intern I have been given full privileges. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing, however, as I feel it is often wise to take time to deliberate and dig deeper into a situation before making a rash decision. I feel like my mindset is changing appropriately, and all of my experiences, from lunch duty to building the School Improvement Plan, have been valuable, and that I am on the right track for my future.